Adopt the 40 Year Old Child He Doesn't Have Time for This

$18.00
Only 1 available

An antique Victorian CDV portrait of a remarkably world-weary little boy standing with one hand in his pocket and the expression of a middle-aged man who has already explained this to you twice.

An antique Victorian CDV portrait of a remarkably world-weary little boy standing with one hand in his pocket and the expression of a middle-aged man who has already explained this to you twice.

This child is exhausted by your incompetence.

He's four.

Possibly five.

But spiritually? Forty-seven.

Look at him.

One hand tucked casually into his pocket. The other resting on the furniture. Immaculate little suit. Feet planted. And a facial expression that says he's already been at work since six this morning and would very much like to know why this meeting couldn't have been an email.

This antique carte de visite, or CDV, photograph features an unidentified Victorian-era boy posed in a photographer's studio against an elaborate architectural backdrop.

And unlike some of the children in these old photographs who look nervous or bewildered by the whole production, this guy looks like he booked the appointment himself.

Unfortunately, I don't have his name or story.

Maybe he was actually a delightful little ray of sunshine.

Maybe five seconds after this was taken he ran outside and rolled down a hill.

The photograph has preserved exactly one fraction of a second of his life, and unfortunately for him, it's the fraction where he looks like somebody just raised his property taxes.

I have not done a psychic reading on this photograph, so his actual personality remains a mystery for whoever adopts him.

He'd be fantastic in an antique photograph collection, Victorian gallery wall, cabinet of curiosities, ancestor-style altar, or as a subject for psychometry, intuitive work or your own divination practice.

Condition

Authentic antique condition with age-related toning and surface wear consistent with its age. The image remains remarkably strong, with excellent detail in his clothing, face, studio furniture and backdrop.

Please review the photographs closely for exact condition.