You see the popular bloggers, the famous designers and the tastemakers telling the world what they shouldn’t and should do when it comes to their home.
When you read their thoughts, you’ll either nod in agreement or roll your eyes like you’re about to have a stroke.
Then you’ll see their pretty websites and drool at first sight. Then you’ll dig in and decide if it’s a stalk-worthy website to emulate.
You’ll get the comparisonitis vibes and think that you’re totally sucky when it comes to what they are putting out there. You’ll cry and hit your partner in the head with your flip flop because they apparently don’t understand your pain as you grab another glass of wine.
Or… You’ll decide to become their newest stalker and this is where you could get into trouble if you decide that you will go “Single White Female” on them and assume their identity.
You’ll copy everything they do. You make false assumptions about their business. You believe that what they are selling makes them mad amounts of money and that you'll soon be rolling around naked in a bed of dollar bills like Black Chyna after a 30-second roll in the hay with Rob Kardashian.
As soon as you finish copying this “twin flame” they will call your ass out for copying them like the “Single White Female.” You will then shit your pants, mad that you weren’t wearing Depends and delete your entire website hoping to avoid a lawsuit.
Which leaves you back at square one. Sitting at your computer again looking for someone else to emulate. But this is your point to choose your own adventure.
When it comes to finding your voice as you build your business, stay off the internet. You will never know who you are if you’re emulating someone else. People will sniff it out like a hot Taco Bell fart. Then they will tell all of their friends about you and why you’re a hot mess. You do not want that.
Finding out who you are as a business person and where that intersects with who you really are to your family and friends will be an exercise in getting honest with yourself.
Take it from me. People copy me. They have stolen my words, taken my slang all while assuming a lot about my business and that’s why they decided to rip off my shit. And no, for the dicks, I don't say this to blow smoke up my own ass.
I have never pretended to be someone else because I know who I am.
I have only called out one piece of shit who copied a couple of my blog posts verbatim, and then they pretended that they were some fancy pants designer and feigned that they had no clue who I was even though they had my blog posts on their website. Nice try, genius.
If you feel like you’re stuck in figuring out who you are because you’re confused about how much to share online or who you really are? Stop censoring yourself. And get the fuck offline.
When you censor who you are or aren't exactly sure who you are when it comes to being the face of your business is when you will seek to emulate someone online. Because you don’t feel like who you are is good enough. That is a straight up lie that you tell to yourself. You’re better than anyone you’re going to try and emulate. That’s a fact.
My best advice for you is for you to do some deep searching within and accept who you are and realize that there is NO FUCKING NEED to keep up with the Joneses because you are perfect as you are.
Alycia Wicker is a business coach for creative entrepreneurs. Her clients land more of their own dream clients and make more cash, period. Celebrity gossip whore. Elvis-obsessed.