You lie to yourself every day. You don't want to face the truth.
If you listened to the truth, what you need to hear, you wouldn't be able to fall back into the seductiveness of the lies you tell yourself.
Your problem is you're busy, not productive.
Let me take a guess at how your day goes.
Drop the kids off at school.
Grab a drink from Starbucks.
Check your Facebook feed and give the side eye to one of the posts from your dingbat friend.
Check your email.
Sit down at your desk.
Wonder what the fuck you're doing today.
Check Facebook again and roll your eyes at the newest political post, then give it the finger.
Tell yourself you need to focus and look at your planner.
Realize you didn't write down your to-do list and again utter "WTF?"
You go over in your mind the usual suspects for tasks and add 5 to your to-do list.
Cross off 2 of those because you realized you did those yesterday.
Feel accomplished you crossed 2 things off your to-do list and treat yourself with another peek at Facebook.
You see a Facebook post from one of the many free groups you're in and see the drama going on. You proceed to hit "see previous comments" repeatedly to make sure you get the low down.
You then message your BFF who is also in the group and talk about it.
You then decide that you must get to work. You open another tab in your browser.
You check your email for some direction for the day.
You spend way too long on how to perfectly word your email to that a-hole client who is now costing you money because you took the job solely for the money.
You open another browser tab and decide to write a blog post. Except you're uninspired and have no idea what you should blog about. So you write a shitty post that no one will care about, but at least you wrote something, right?
You go back on Facebook to ask someone in one of your free Facebook groups about what they think about something in your business. A handful of people who are also avoiding work respond to you with conflicting answers that leave you confused.
You click back to your email, hoping someone wants to hire you. You click refresh 6 times and wonder if your email is broken when a new email doesn't pop up.
You reluctantly decide to go back to work on the project for the a-hole client. Making the 87th revision to their family room. You spent a couple hours trying to figure out exactly what piece of furniture will make them happy because you thought you picked out the perfect piece, but they hated it. You curse them. Again.
You then hop back on Facebook to see what's gone on since you've been working on that blasted project. A couple clicks and you're back to the drama post to see what you've missed.
Then you decide that's enough for the morning. You go to lunch.
After lunch it's much the same and when 5 o'clock rolls around you're happier than a pig in shit. You made it through another day.
You know this so when you wake up at 3 am you think about how this can't go on. This isn't what you dreamed your business to be.
You wanted to make money. Doing what you love. You didn't want to flail and fumble all over the place like a drunken Lindsay Lohan. You were going to kick ass, take names and buy those fancy-pants shoes.
This will repeat again tomorrow. And for the rest of the week. Because you love the lies you tell yourself.
I'll get all my blog posts written for the month.
I'll get all of my social media taken care of.
I'll only work with the best clients who don't treat me like I'm a piece of crap.
I won't be chasing money like a strung out hooker on the streets.
I'm going to prove to my spouse that I can do this so I can make them my coffee bitch.
My income is going to double this year and triple next year. Then I'll focus on taking awesome vacays with my family. Ones where we don't have to stay in a low budget motel with a bum and a hooker outside our door.
But do you really mean it? If you mean it, do something about it. Get yourself into a community that won't put up with your bullshit. You need your ass kicked. Get yourself a coach that will hold your feet to the fire and won't allow you lie to yourself anymore.
If you really want this, then act like it.
Alycia Wicker is a business coach for creative entrepreneurs. Her clients land more of their own dream clients and make more cash, period. Celebrity gossip whore. Elvis-obsessed.